I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
