Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
