so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
