I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
