ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
