He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is Oprah even human
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
