Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
