Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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