I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
