Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
