he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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