Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
