The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
