Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
