Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
