I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
