you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
