So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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