Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
