You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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