Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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