i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
