DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
