the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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