what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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