I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
