woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Everything about him screamed your future.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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