She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
