how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
