i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There r osticjed everywhere
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
