you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
