There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
