Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
