We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
