Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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