glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
