I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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