I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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