He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
