God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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