We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
