I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
