Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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