You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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