Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
