Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Holy sore nipples Batman
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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