every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
