I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
zippers are such a cool invention
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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