whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize