If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
