Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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