I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
